|
by Karrlin Field
Every human being has a story. Each one is different. What if you knew someone's story the second you meet them? Would you really want too?
The body awakens, like the worlds most complex generator turning on from the night's power loss. She jolts to the sudden adrenaline compelled to check the time. Six forty-five, she had ten, at most, fifteen minutes to get to school.
"No, stupid alarm. I gotta blast it or something." The girl memos drowsily.
To keep the quick dose of adrenaline from fading, she threw away the covers from their tossed and turned state on her body. Hopping up from bed and grabbing the day's closes from her old dresser, that was missing half its drawers, she got a slight depressed pain.
"This is the third time it's happened, if I don't get there, ill so get a detention. It's only my second week." Half pouting the girl continued to undress and dress her self. Once she was decent enough, she grabbed her book bag, or she tried to. Completely forgetting that it weighted almost as much as she did. Repositioning her self next to it she managed to fit both straps on her shoulder and pull her self up with the assistance of her bed. Holding her book bag down as she ran down the tiny hall way and through the front door, she had a small urge to cry, but she stood by her recent promise to her self to brake that horrible habit she had taken up recently.
Forgetting that she had yet to tie her shoes, She reached for her old bike. Tearing her eyes away from the rusty chain, which the bike was home too, she mounted it and set the heavy part of her book bag in the extension she had gotten attached.
"I'm gonna make it," Then she corrected her self, "I gotta make it, I have to make it." She looked both ways while biking furiously across the main street to school. Taking a deep breath to just attempt to ease her worry, she continued her little round of encouragement.
"Gotta make it, gotta make it, gotta make it. Come on."
Estimation wasn't strong with this girl, but it had at least been ten minutes until she finally saw the sight of the top of her school building. Weston High School was secured in faded black lettering on the side of the brick building. For a split second she felt relieved before reality set in as she heard the bell, which she was all but saved by. She sunk down to the ground, forgetting that her books dragged her half way.
"No, not today, please not today." Locking her bike to the old rack she carefully made her way through the school doors.
"Edina," There was that urge again, but Edina held it back. "Do you have a pass?"
"Um, I will, I just got in. These feet won't stop till I am in the office getting one."
Vice principal Owen didn't slow his pace as he walked on with his false arrogance in a city high school.
"Very well, hurry up to class."
Dealing with the wonderful office staff, and the great task of un-packing her neat book bag, Edina remembered that she had to still put her hair up and tie her shoes. Finishing that, the girl clutched her Spanish notebook for courage to turn the knob to her classroom.
Entering a whole world turning with out her, the class looks up from their books to greet her with tired, annoyed and she swore she saw disgust in one of their eyes.
"Glad you decided to join us Edina." Her teacher exhaled. She shuffled her feet to her teacher and mumbled a shy sorry while handing over her late pass. Then she rushed to her seat and stared at her desk, forbidding herself to glance at any looks from her classmates.
"Alright shall we continue?"
Edina was almost too depressed to blush. She generally cared about her grades; it was just that everything else seemed like it didn't.
Friends are good things, but they take girls like Edina something to work for. She knew the names of some friendly people, but that wasn't saying much. The floor seemed to always attract her attention through out the whole day. It wasn't one of her best. Ever since she came here, she hadn't experienced to many good days.
But why? Why was everything so hard? Maybe it was because she wasn't the richest of kids; maybe it was because she hadn't known a stable month in her life. She was sure of the true reason though, No parents. She was orphaned at the age of 3. No relatives to take her in and nowhere to go, Edina was admitted to an orphanage. Her life had been full of nothing but change. She was forced to grow up a lifetime faster then she was ready for, and it was breaking her down. Sure she tried to keep a min-ute upbeat attitude, but it all ended in vain. Not a thing in the world could bring back this 9th graders child hood. It was gone forever. She thought about this all the way on the slow bike ride back to the building she called home.
Nowhere near willing to let her guardians, Carl and Morgan, see her red moist eyes, she came through the door and hurried to her room. It wasn't their fault, Carl and Morgan had to leave for work an hour earlier then she had to leave for school. She told them she could handle it, and she was determined to. But being determined for Edina was the same as wishing for failure. It always seemed to work out that way.
She had been with Carl and Morgan for 2 months, they claimed that they where on their way to re doing the sad condition of the house. But Edina knew the busy schedule wouldn't allow it. They where a really nice couple, one of the nicest she had been with in fact. But she knew nice anything was her second biggest enemy.
Looking out the window the sky even seemed to turn away from her. Edina's poor eyes where swimming with tears that she had moated around them in emotional circles. She couldn't stand it, and just let the bridges fall.
"I wonder how little kids live." Subconsciously she folded her arms in a semi-hugging position. She heard a knock on her hollow door, not moving a muscle except the ones in her face she gave the right of admittance.
"Edina?" The girl on the bed almost chuckled as she replied to the soft tone of Morgan's voice.
"Yeah, hi Morgan. How was work?" The gentle parent model came over to Edina and sat her self carefully next to her, studying her face.
"Oh fine, same as usual. How was school?" Morgan asked obviously seeing the eyes of the teenager swell.
"Great, just great." Edina had to close her eyes for a second; she swallowed to help down her tears one more time. Morgan sent her look to the floor.
"Yes, well don't worry, things well look better. Today is Friday. No school tomorrow." Edina took a deep breath to try to lighten her spirit at the reminder she had received.
"Yeah."
Being completely new at any sort of parenting, Morgan's approach was an experiment every time.
"Carl and I are um, going to court again tonight." Edina jolted with activity now. "We, where called in yesterday, and uh, they have issues to discuss. I don't suppose you would like to come would you?"
Edina tried to consider it, but she had gone to more then her share of these kinds of court hearings. Good and bad things come from them; Edina could tell what would come from this visit.
"No, its ok, I have reading to do." Morgan looked at the teen she had taken under her wing with more then sympathetic eyes.
"Ok Edina, you remember that it doesn't matter what the judge says." Edina interrupted.
"Yeah, ill see you guys around nine thirty." It wasn't that Edina didn't believe her trusted grown friend, but it was just that, the always be here for you speech was sore to her ears. Morgan saw that Edina just needed self-time. So with just a simple movement, Morgan patted Edina's hand and exited her room, leaving the 15-year-old girl to her self.
Hearing her guardians leave a couple minutes later, Edina tried to do some work but even when she wasn't struggling through the book's questions for Spanish, every thing seemed a different language. She decided to hold it off for now. For Edina right now, it was inhumanly hard to care about anything.
Sleep, that's all she wanted to do. She had been up late last night, and the day had worn her down, all she wanted to do was forget about the world. So she lay on her pillow and just fell right to sleep.
She hadn't dreamt much lately, She had really knocked her self out emotionally. But the rare nap she had that day was totally different.
It started out at her school, but when she went from class to class the halls and kids and teachers seemed to change, some she knew, some she didn't know. But every section of her day seemed to morph into something from someone else's. She was in different places, cities, and houses. Nothing stopped changing. She came to a part of her dream that was in a very hot place, but the heat was ignored as the constant changing drew her attention. What was happening? Was she still the same? A door appeared before her in this extreme heat. Un-able to control what happened, the door was opened, and inside it revealed a mirror. Walking up to the mirror slowly, she tilted it towards her self to find.
Nothing, whichever way she turned it, it reflected nothing. She screamed as loud as she could but not even a voice was there. Getting more frantic by the second she awoke with a start only to witness more chaos and stress, Flames.
The reason it was so hot in her dream was because she was almost surrounded by flames. She shook her head violently as she began to cough, yelling for sheer timing of it all. She knew she had to escape but how?
The window was her only way out. But the dangerous flames engulfed it.
The door, she though it was not an option but when she looked closer, the hollowness of her door burned away quickly, and she bet she could burst through. She had no other choice and nearly nothing to loose. Leaping from her bead, she charged at the door, charging for her life. It felt like she crashed into a burning cement wall as she made first contact. Then before her skeleton felt like it was about to impact on its self, the door pushed through and sent her crashing into the wall of the hall way. Her head was hit brutally, but she was still conscious, and she was aware the second she wasn't she was done for. It seemed the only usable part of her body was her legs, so she urged them forward, and miraculously, she made it to the front door and pushed her way out. Stumbling to the cold grass, Edina collapsed.
Feeling the burned flesh and the broken bones with in her body, all she could do was stare at the burning building she called home. She stared in utter and total shock. What the heck happened? She thought that maybe she was still dreaming, but no, the feeling coursing though her was all too real. For a second she knew panic, and then this faded to an urgent need to relax, as she knew extreme fatigue. All she could do is lay helplessly. She wasn't sure if she was delirious or not, but thoughts came from her head.
'Is this it?' she thought. By now the adrenaline blocking the pain in her body had faded, Breathing hurt like mad, and it didn't matter if she didn't move, the constant flow of pain through her nerves ate away at her consciousness. Edina knew she was really injured. She closed her eyes, feeling pain and fatigue claiming her further.
'My life can't be meant like this. Not like this, not like this. Can't I please know it first?' She pleaded.
"Please, Please. I want a normal life like every one else, even if I have to fix theirs first. Any life would be better then the one I'm in." Her voice sounded horrible as she was only able to speak slowly softly, and not with out slight stuttering.
"I, I want to love; life." it was the last thing the teen heard before drifting off into unconscious.
'What?' she thought, 'Wait am I dreaming?' the mind thinking was observing a dream, a dream that seemed impossibly familiar. Not willing to pay attention to detail, the mind told its self to wake up. And to wake up a pair of eyes generally need to open. And so a pair of eyes opened.
"What?" I repeated. But I practically jumped at my voice. It wasn't my voice at all, not at all. I screamed bloody murder being freaked out by the scream its self. Footsteps came running, suddenly my mom burst into the room.
"Max are you ok?" then the thing that happened next changed my life forever, I replied.
"Yeah sorry mom, just a dream."
"Ok, you sure your ok?"
"Yes, yes, ill be ok."
"Alright, ill be down stairs."
"Mom didn't seem very cheerful, wait what the hell I'm I saying? Mom?" I burst from bed and ran to my mirror. I almost screamed again, but I restrained that. It wasn't me, I was Maxine, and Maxine was whose house I was in, and closes, and room. And body. I was Max. But how? What the heck was going on? I was alive, but I was Max. What?
"Dan, Dan, I have to call him before he leaves." What was I saying? I was in control, but I knew what I had to do by complete surprise to me.
Phone number streamed through my head as I searched for Dan, my best friend. He was leaving later today and I had to heal the fight I had with him last night. That second I paused, Memories appeared from all corners of my brain, thousands. I was now Maxine Dinate. I knew my life, and at the same time I had no idea what was going on.
'I'm Max, but I still know I'm Edina, what the heck is happening to me? Wait I have to call him before I think of anything else, he means a lot to me. Right? I better let my Maxine instinct kick in on this one.' I thought.
Dialing frantically I waited for some one to pick up on the other end. At the same time I was getting together closes to meet him, I looked at my dresser drawer.
'Wow, these are some awesome choices for ensembles.'
"Hello?" That was Dan's mom, I paused for a second.
"Hi Mrs. Richards, this is Max is Dan there?"
"Oh hello Maxine, Dan is getting the final stuff to pack in his room, one sec."
"Thanks." I replied putting the phone down to pull my perfect fitting dark blue long sleeve shirt over my head.
"Hey." A dull voice answered, but if I really paid attention I could hear sadness too. I surged to pick up the phone.
"Dan? Hey Dan listen, I shouldn't even be the last person on earth, to talk to you like I did last night. And being sorry doesn't cut it. It's just; I don't know how to deal with this. For the past days I have been in denial about me missing you, but Dan the second you drive away," I couldn't finish, Dan and I have been friend since second grade. This was really hard; he was like the brother I never had but closer then that. He was always there when I had a bad relation ship with some one, always wanting to punch out the guy that I broke up with. And I was there same for him, I got in some trouble fighting with the last girl that dumped him, but it was worth it. He was worth so much, but now a super job for his mom in Seattle required them to leave. I knew it was the best for his family, but I couldn't stand it.
"Are you dressed yet Max? I am and if you are I want to meet you by the corner." He really didn't have much emotion in his usual full of life voice. I looked at my self; yeah I was pretty much dressed. I was happy he wanted to meet me, but a little scared at why he was so emotionless. The corner was in between our houses, and there was a bench there, it was our bus stop and where we first really meet. We where neighbors on a street corner.
"Yeah, I'm dressed. When do you want to-" He cut me off.
"Go out as soon as you can."
"Okay. But," He hung up; I shut my phone off and ran downstairs.
Making it out to the bus stop, I looked around, it was a little chilly, and the wind breezed by me, but I found this kind of weather calming sometimes. I pulled my sleeves up to the back of my hands and sat down on our bench. Inside I still had no idea what was going on to me, Edina, but I decided this was more important for the moment.
"Hey Max." It was Dan, his voice sounded much better.
"Dan I," He quieted me by sitting next to me copying me posture of my hands resting on the bench.
"Hey I know how many things where going through your mind last night. But Max, you gotta know how much it hurts to leave, for me too. You are my best friend, no way that your some one who I wont miss every day. And I will miss you Max, I will so much." I turned to look at him, we could almost read each other's mind. Apologizing for our fights was almost useless, but hey Maxine can also spell drama queen. Plus I really yelled at him last night. His face started to get fuzzy as tears filled my eyes. But I rubbed them away as quick as I could. He moved and put his arms around me. I felt relieved as I through my arms around him and clutched him close.
"Aw Max, don't cry. You know it's the only thing that makes me." I laugh a little.
"I'm only crying because knowing you, could have been the best thing that ever happened to me. I will miss you more then anything, I don't know if I'll survive."
"I know you will, you could always do anything." Oh my Dan, I don't know if I can have self-confidence without you. I smiled and held the back of his head. I loved his hair, it was just right. Dirty blonde, and not to short or not to long. I loved Dan, he really was like a brother to me. And I was a sister to him. We actually said we loved each other by random, we where that comfortable together.
'Wow, I wish I knew I guy like him ever.' The Edina inside thought.
"Dan, you know I love you." I leaned back to look at his moist eyes. Still holding the back his head. "That stands the same and stronger when you're away from me."
"I got that since second grade. You know I love you too. No matter where I am, even though I don't know if I can take high school with out you there Max."
"I think we raised each other so you will be fine and so will I. It will defiantly take a while, but we'll be fine Bro." He smiled and leaned his forehead on mine gently.
"Sis." Laughing together I had to be careful not to get more emotional. I knew he did to. Our friendship was so special, it was near perfect because we where so close as friends, and so comfortable with each other. We both wondered at times why we didn't really go through life as a couple. And we found that when we did go out, it wasn't the same, we just didn't have that sort of chemistry. It is funny in a way, we are better friends then we are a couple. I remembered that the time we discussed it he told me his explanation.
"Well I guess we are like those Seinfeld people, they went out and found they where better friends then lovers." Which was a good explanation as any.
We sat in a cherished silence together, he then leaned back on the bench and I leaned against him. We watched a moving van go from his house, I sighed along with him.
"I know your thinking the same as me," I looked up at him and smiled.
"Got any glue?" We spoke together laughing lightly. The next thing he did surprised Max and me. He reached his arms up and cradled my face; I stared at him with wonder. Slowly he reached down and kissed me. I was almost in shock, it wasn't like the first kiss we had when we tried dating, light short but sweet, it was an honest loving kiss that showed feeling, no tongue or anything. Gladly I kissed back. So few people know the feeling I got, in the center of my body I got this strong feeling, like a pain in a way, but it wasn't a hurtful pain, it made me blush slightly, and I felt heavenly. Staring to sense some nervousness from him, I realized I wasn't kissing back as much as I thought, to busy feeling wonderful. He started to back away, but I went with him for a second or too, stopping him completely. Then we backed off at the same time. At first I could even sense our kiss actually end, my lips were still tingling with feeling. Once blush fell from my cheeks I managed to open my eyes, only to feel it come right back as a stared into his hazel-blue shine.
'That wasn't suppose to feel so, good.' I thought, seeing he was thinking the exact same thing. I wanted to speak, but my eyes where so busy being locked onto his. I managed so sputter out a word.
"Okay." It wasn't in a questioning way, but more of a light confirming one, tears started welling up in my eyes again. I was going to miss this boy more then I thought. He had always been part of my life, always. Now half of what I practically lived for was about to fly across the country.
"I guess dramatic setups are not the best time to do anything like that huh?" He said quietly trying to smile. I through my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. Crying so hard that I could barely control my sobs. Feeling his living breathing body in my arms made it all the worse. I knew that when he got to his new life, he would meet someone to comfort him over leaving me. Then he would be an even better friend with them. Yeah I trusted him, but ill probably find some guy at school too and then what? Deep down I knew we both felt like this was a real good bye.
Holding his hand I stood up and dragged him up too.
"Hey," I made him look at me, his eyes where red. Dan was never one to cry, but I knew he was about to. Dan don't cry for me please, I though. "Hear me Dan, I know when you reach the front door of your new house, you'll look over to the neighbor next to you and miss me not running from it to see you." He looked at me, knowing I was the person who knew how he functioned. "Dan when I step from my door tomorrow, my eyes will still be wet, and ill glance over at your house, waiting for you to swing that door open and pick me up so we can go to this bench and sit together waiting for our bus. But that wont happen because ill be to busy sitting on my door step missing you." Then it happened, a few tears really did stream down his face. I kind of stared at this with sorrow, but I forced my self to continue. "But you know that the second you go to your new room, you'll be happy again, because you'll run your fingers over this and think of me. I'm giving you the power to smile Dan, please abuse it." And that's just what he did he smiled so slightly. I knew it was hard for him, but he tried it. Now I had to give him what I was talking about. Carefully I un-did the bead from its loop on the back of my neck. And I slid off my necklace/choker. It was made of hemp, and had long silver beads, separated by skinny black ones. I cherished it so much; it was my little luck charm, even when things weren't lucky. He looked at me with almost total shock.
"Max no you love that necklace." Then I looked him strait in the eye as I slid it around his neck and looped the latch bead in the back. He then looked down, and then back up at me with an understanding look on his face.
"Dan, you don't belong to me, but we wont stop being friends, even if we do start going out again in high school. We have part of each other for the rest of our lives. And that's good enough for me."
Then we both glanced at his house as we heard the dreaded noise of his mom's gentle voice calling for him. He looked at me glancing at my bare neck. He spoke sorrowfully but quietly.
"I have to go, ma's callin." We smiled and laughed a little. I'll miss that too.
"Dan." Reaching for the side of his face, I reached up and kissed him again, to show him my version of his kiss. Leaning apart again, he moved next to my ear and whispered. Speaking softly and shakily, his breath soared over my ear. .
"Max, bye." He held my limp hand until my fingertips slid softly of off his.
I stood there and watched him leave. Right until his car drove out of sight, and then I still stood there, I guess I was still in shock. All I felt was wanting him back, that all I wanted, I felt my heart starting to pound with aggravation in my chest because he could never really come back. Everything around me seemed quite. Not another car drove by, and strangely no birds where singing. I slowly turned around and pulled my feet towards my doorstep. Moving my fingers around my neck, I felt so plain. It was an unusual feeling with out my necklace. I hoped Dan was smiling wiping his eyes and feeling it's slender feel on his neck. I needed him to feel happy right now.
I made it to my door and went up to my room. Closing the door and locking it quietly I sat on my bed then let all my weight fall backwards, to stare at my ceiling. Speaking with a crumbled heart.
"By Dan." Then I shook my head and shot up.
"Hello totally freaked out me! What the heck has happened to Edina? I mean what the heck happened to me?" I run over to my mirror again and stare at my self. Not a speck of what I used to look at in the mornings in the past. In complete loss of it all, I pinch myself a few times till I plop on the foot of my bed and stare at the floor blankly.
"Its like I was X'd out and was replaced by Max." spurting out a laugh I threw my hands in the air. "That's all that's left, my memories and a big fat X." Laughing still, almost insanely I stand up holding out my hand to greet the air in front of me.
"Hello nice to come across you, I'm Maxine, and you can call me X too." Letting my hand drop to my side, and holding my face with my left. I could feel water building behind my eyes.
"I'm an X. This makes no sense." I spoke "Did I want all this?" Remembering back, it was true; I wanted to live another life. But who wishes that irrationally and experiences its happening?
Looking at my hands I walked over to my window and glanced out side.
"Can I deal with this?" Leaning out my window I look down to in front of my door. I see a man walk up to the house, I see a women run out to greet him. They hold each other and kiss happily. Laughing and hugging. The man was my father, the women was my mother. My parents. I smile and watch the two go back in the house.
"Definitely."
The rest of the day I had to get my mind off Dan. I found I had an essay due on Monday for English. I sunk my teeth into that till I was convinced it was perfect. I was pretty tired emotionally and mentally by the time I fell into bed at nine-thirty.
The next morning I woke up half not knowing where I was and half knowing all to well. Seeing the theme of my new room of max settle into view I relaxed and soaked in all my memories from yesterday. Confirmed on what my lay out was for my awkward situation. I let max instinct kick in to lead me drowsily down the stairs from my room and into the living room. My little brother was there, playing some game on his Nintendo 64. I was pretty sure in involved some little creatures running around popping out of balls and battling each other. I rolled my eyes and looked for a good sugar filled cereal. Pulling the captain crunch from the cupboard I forced my tired voice to reach over to my brother.
"You know that when I was 6, I woke up and watched smurfs. Doesn't anybody watch cartoons on weekend mornings anymore?"
"I do watch cartoons on Saturday, but on Sunday there are never good ones on." John replied with his eyes glued to the screen and his hands, that where to small to really grip around the controller, where fiercely pushing the plastic noisy buttons on the surface.
Getting the spoon, bowl, and milk, I sit down to gorge into my 10:30 breakfast.
"Are mom and dad home?" I asked with a mouth full of dry cereal that hasn't been soaked in milk yet. I smiled inwardly; it felt good to say mom and dad, really good.
"Mom went to get your photos from Friday." Then the screen of the TV flashing white distracted him.
"And Dad would be?" I asked annoyed.
"I don't know." He mumbled back, I smiled and laughed. Running over to him, and scaring him just a bit. I picked him up off the floor from behind tearing him away from the controller. I twirled around with him clutched to my front.
"Maa-ax!" he almost yelled in fright, I could tell how unexpected my action was.
Suddenly I stopped and set him down on the couch. Laughing still, I rubbed the top of his head.
"Don't ever stop being my little brother John." Seeing his eyes still wide open in shock, I laughed some more.
"Respect your elders youngen."
"Dads in the office." I heard his shaky voice confess.
"Thanks Johnny!" I skipped off to the direction of my dad's workstation. It was cool having a little brother, I must remind my self more often.
"Is that you Max?" He said turning around to greet me.
"Hey dad, what's up?" I ran over to him and hugged him.
"Nothing, um how are you doing?" I saw little concern in his eyes, he meant 'how have you been since Dan left?'
"I'm ok, ill be fine in a couple weeks, and good in a month or so." I hugged my dad again. "How was your trip?"
"Oh great as usual, " he said with sarcasm, " one of these days ill convince them I'm worth the money for first class on plains." I laughed with him.
"I'm glad your back, lets go for a family movie Saturday ok? It's been a while." He smiled and nodded his head.
"Cool, how about tonight after I come back from Marissa's?"
"Sure, sounds great."
"Awesome dad." I just could stop getting the feeling of hugging my dad, my father, out of my head. A parent is proof of where you really came from, some one that is the special part of you. With out either of them, you would not exist. So when I hugged my dad, the only thing I thought was thanks for being my dad, and only mine. Parents are really the world's only true luxury. Especially as great as mine were, they were the worlds best as far as I was concerned. In this one school X of me was in, we where assigned to read The Giver, I burned it as soon as I got trough the first couple chapters. Sure it was something very dramatic of me to do for such a weak reason; sure it's a classic book with a lesson. But to X of me its like reading deep into personal torture, then getting graded on it.
Now to Marissa's, my best girlfriend. I have known her since sixth grade. She and I told each other everything, and trusted each other with anything. On the past Friday after the movie she saw the fight Dan and I had. Knowing I would need a shoulder a short time after, she ordered me to go to her house to just be with a good friend.
"Hey Riss." I greeted her at her front door.
"Maxine," she leaped from her doorway and hugged me. "What's up?" she said worriedly. I laughed a bit.
"Nothing much, anything new with you?"
Up in her room I was pretty much awaiting her barrage of mediating questions.
'Are you okay?'
'What happened?'
'What did you guys say?'
And something I know she is bound to notice.
'Where's your necklace?'
Well, I've been better. Dan left. Words. With him. Is along the lines of what I would say. Then she will inspect under the skin and get me to spill it all in an emotional mess, standard procedure really.
But I was really awaiting it! After all X had never experienced one before. To tell the truth, it was a real weight lifter. I mean in emotions. I was so caught up with loving my family and enjoying the company of my best gal pal I didn't notice how sad I was at the core. But since I did talk to Riss, I felt so much better.
I tried to remember what had happened Friday night, but it was all a blur. Sometimes the events would go in a different order too, from parking lot, school, movie. Then school movie, parking lot. But the one thing that stuck was the yelling I did at Dan. I was totally knocking him over with this harsh yelling about something that probably had to do with his family. I figured the Maxine that came before me had something to do with that. Maxine? Where was she? What happened to her? I got worried all of a sudden, what did I do to this girl? I feel like Maxine but I know who I am at the core. I got even more frightened when I thought about the possibility of her switching places with me simply because I wanted a different life. That couldn't be possible, she felt like she was still here, but asleep in some way, almost comatose. It was freaking me out. But what was I going to do about it?
I decided to wait things out, because Johnny came into my room then looking spooked still and in a quiet voice told me they were ready to go to the movie. He made me smile so I jumped up from my bed and went to hug him again. He immediately let out a shriek and started to run down stairs. To no avail apparently as I caught up to him and whisked him up again, I giggle seeing him flair his arms for something to grab on to. This time though he laughed slightly. I think he enjoyed getting this attention from his big sister. I wondered why Maxine would ignore him like that. Too much teen drama going on in her life, I smiled to my self.
'Give me a break.'
I set Johnny down and straitened his hair for him.
"You're crazy." He smiled sniffling in as excitement made his nose run slightly. That was so cute!
"What you gotta problem with that?" I smirked jokingly.
"Ahh! No!" He squealed running out to our white Minnie van. Maxine had a strange likening to safe cars. But I didn't have the time to gather up more memories as I saw my parents staring at me in the doorway. They had this udder look of shock on their face that was so priceless! I think they witness an astrologic occurrence.
"Hi!" I beamed at them; I was beaming inside and out.
"Hi sweetie," My mom spoke dazed. "Are ya ready to go?"
"Oh I am so ready!" I stated in confidence.
"Do you uh, want something honey?" My dad was asking kinda skeptically, he thought I was being nice to Johnny to get something from them. I laughed, I don't know why but it made me so happy to know I was making them happy. Maxine didn't know what she had here.
"I need absolutely nothing! I am perfected! Here for the ride Daddio!"
Then my perfect world was taken away. It was ripped from me and smashed with uncertainty. What was happening All the memories of Maxine's life where becoming so faint, all I could remember staring into darkness, was the sound of someone else controlling Maxine's voice that sounded so renewed, and the fact I had made her happy to have a family. My purpose with Maxine Denate was finished.
|
